VO: The nation's favorite celebrities...

There's a fact for you.

VO: ..paired up with an expert... We're like a girl band!

VO: ..and a classic car.

Give it some juice, Myrie, give it some juice.

VO: Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm brilliant at haggling.

Who knew?

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

I can't believe that!

VO: But it's no easy ride.

TRISHA: What's that smell?

AMIR: The clutch!

VO: Who will find a hidden gem?

That's very art deco, innit?

VO: Take the biggest risk?

EAMONN: It's half toy, it's half furniture.

VO: Will anybody follow expert advice?

That's irrelevant.

VO: There will be worthy winners... CHRIS: (GROANS) RUFUS: (LAUGHS) VO: ..and valiant losers.

No!

VO: Put your pedal to the metal.

Woohoo!

VO: This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

VO: Yeah, baby.

VO: It's go time in Lancashire.

VO: Putting the show into the biz today are comedian Dom Joly and actress Pauline McLynn.

DOM: Woohoo!

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) DOM: Go on, son!

VO: That's how to blast the "oom" into vroom.

DOM: Look at those two cool people, they're thinking.

Didn't one of them used to be Dom Joly?

VO: Comedian and travel writer Dom shot to fame in the noughties as a devilish prankster in a British hidden camera TV show.

VO: Today, Dom will be chauffeur for buddy Pauline McLynn, a novelist and award-winning actress, renowned for her role in a smash hit British sitcom.

DOM: It makes a change seeing you in Blighty.

Yeah.

DOM: Cuz I'm used to seeing you in the Balkans.

In the Balkans, yeah.

And that's...

Which is not a euphemism.

No.

It's just a fact.

VO: The two met on a spiritual journey to the city of Istanbul.

I first met you walking out of Belgrade airport in Serbia which is not something I normally say.

Yeah, a showbiz moment.

DOM: But I liked you instantly.

PAULINE: We ended up sort of hanging around together because you like idiots.

VO: And for this well-traveled pair, any big showbiz crushes?

PAULINE: I'm a huge fan of, er...Phil Serrell, Paul Laidlaw, James Braxton, not necessarily in that order.

DOM: That's your top three, though?

So, you'd be happy if we got any of those?

Yeah, yeah I'd be thrilled.

VO: Yeah, what about me?

VO: Here they are, though, heart-throbs and auctioneers James Braxton and Philip Serrell, AKA... (CAR ENGINE GRINDS) VO: ..Giggles.

(GIGGLES) PHIL: Are you alright here, Jim?

It's nothing to do with me, Phil.

Oh, get out of here!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: No comment.

VO: The big guns are living it up in a Mini Cooper from 1990.

PHIL: I used to have a Mini, a red Mini.

JAMES: Really?

PHIL: Yeah.

I have to say, it wasn't a good courting car, if you get what I mean.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: Nuff said.

(CHUCKLES) VO: And what of the perky 1979 Triumph Spitfire?

PAULINE: What does the horn sound like?

(HORN TOOTS) DOM: Oh, ooh!

Hello!

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) That kind of immediately takes away the power thing, doesn't it?

DOM: Yeah, a little bit.

That... (ENGINE REVS) (HORN TOOTS) ...and then that.

It's mixed... it's mixed messages, isn't it?

It basically says, I've got a forceful character... (HORN TOOTS) ...but I'm a little bit sensitive.

DOM & PAULINE: (LAUGH) VO: A bit like Phil Serrell.

VO: A tour around Lancashire beckons, before the big showdown at an auction in Runcorn in Cheshire.

VO: But first, we're all heading to Morecambe for some shopping action.

PHIL: Well done, sir.

JAMES: Well done.

PHIL: Excellent stuff.

JAMES: It looks as though we're here first, doesn't it?

PHIL: Seamless, Jim.

Seamless.

JAMES: It's...it's a sort of forward roll.

PHIL: Yeah, elegance.

JAMES: Amazing!

Amazing, that we actually fit in there.

VO: GG Antiques is the go-to antiques mecca in the north.

VO: There's over 40,000 square feet to delve into here.

Ah.

VO: Watch out!

The speed demons have arrived.

Right.

PAULINE: We're here!

DOM: We are here.

PAULINE: Yay.

DOM: Um, I have a problem actually getting out of this.

PAULINE: You and me, both, brother.

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) DOM: I literally can't get out.

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) VO: (LAUGHS) Such Olympic flexibility.

Woah!

There's no elegant way of doing that, is there?

DOM: They don't teach that at finishing school.

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) DOM: Let's find these guys.

VO: Now, with £400 each and a hot-to-trot antiques expert thrown in, we're green for go!

Ah, hello, James.

Hello, Dom.

Sorry, awkward mo... awkward time?

JAMES: I just feel rather sorry for this rather depressed character here.

Yeah, I've seen a lot of them in show business, to be honest.

Listen, Pauline's downstairs.

She's very competitive.

JAMES: OK. DOM: So, shall we get cracking?

JAMES: Let's go and find a bargain.

(AIR RAID SIREN SOUNDS) VO: Blimey, what's going on in here?

PAULINE: Is that real?

It's a real... PHIL: Yeah, World War II.

PAULINE: ..air-raid siren?

PHIL: 1940.

PAULINE: I love it.

It's alarming, isn't it?

PAULINE: Yeah.

VO: He's here all week, folks.

PHIL: Come on, Mrs D. He's got a million of the big ones.

Let's get shopping.

Yes, yes, now, that's the most important thing.

Yeah, now, concentrate, concentrate, concentrate.

VO: Yeah, focus all the way.

DOM: I actually really like that.

I thought it was a pirate, a very flexible pirate, eating his own foot.

Actually, I now think it's a Cornish pasty, so less interest.

But the yogic pirate, I'd have bought that.

VO: That does look like a foot.

Urgh!

DOM: James?

I know this is probably not your area but I'm...I'm kind of, I love political propaganda art.

Yeah, yeah.

DOM: I wrote a book called The Dark Tourist, where I went off to all these weird places and I do sort of collect propaganda stuff.

I've got stuff from Vietnam.

DOM: And this is, I believe, World War II propaganda poster along the line of "loose lips sink ships", isn't it?

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, that's Hitler under the table.

JAMES: Under the table, listening.

DOM: Looking like a maître d', actually.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: And...I love this on every level.

I love that it's a part of British history.

JAMES: Yeah.

I like that it's slightly odd in its... JAMES: Yeah.

I just love it.

Obviously, it's broken frame and stuff.

VO: As a former political journalist, this is right up Dom's street.

Although propaganda has been around for millennia, it does come of age in the 20th century with both world wars.

JAMES: Is that something that you'd like to buy?

DOM: Well this is my problem.

I mean, if I...if this was just for me, I would buy that in seconds.

JAMES: Yeah.

DOM: Just, I really want that at home, but we're buying this to sell.

JAMES: Well, if we're buying it to sell, I think it has a market.

I think has... DOM: Do you think?

JAMES: ..I think it has an artistic element.

DOM: I agree.

JAMES: Is there a price on it?

No, there doesn't seem be a price on a lot of stuff here, so, no, that's my worry.

I think that's a definite candidate.

DOM: Excellent.

Let's go and try and find something else.

I'm very glad you didn't laugh me out.

I just thought, you'd think, "What's he on about?"

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: I love it.

VO: Nice find, Dom.

VO: Meanwhile... Pauline, what about this...this clock thing?

PHIL: Do you like clock things?

PAULINE: I think that that's hideous.

Listen, if we're going to work together, I think you've got to stop holding back and let me know really what you think.

Well, like, for instance, I do like pretty things, and I like big things and I really, for instance, like this.

This pot.

PHIL: Yeah.

PAULINE: There's 270 quid on it.

I mean, I really like it, but...not...not even for half price, so... PHIL: No, no, no.

No, it kind of doesn't float my boat.

Let's go and find something else.

OK. Good colors, though.

PHIL: Let's leave.

Absolutely right.

PAULINE: Agreed?

Good colors.

Absolutely.

Let's lead on.

PAULINE: Goodbye.

Yes, yeah.

PHIL: Yeah, goodbye.

Bye bye.

PAULINE: Not "good buy".

PHIL: Bye bye!

VO: Alright, Phil.

They will hear you in the next county.

VO: What's fresh with Dom and Jimbo?

JAMES: Now Dom... how do you stand on bamboo?

Very carefully.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) Um, I don't love it, but I see this in a sort of slightly eclectic hippie house in Brighton or something... JAMES: Yeah, it is, isn't it?

DOM: ..as you come in.

JAMES: Yeah.

So it's a classic hall stand, so you could put hats on... DOM: Yeah.

..coats, and you put your umbrellas, whatever, with the metal tray.

DOM: Yeah.

I don't know.

I mean, bamboo, I know is your thing, isn't it?

Yeah, I love it.

So I mean, and is it in at the moment?

It is.

Finally.

I've been banging on for it... DOM: Yeah yeah, do you think... JAMES: ..for about 20 years!

..do you think you've finally shifted the bamboo market?

DOM: Actually, weirdly, Pauline was discussing bamboo, and your bamboo...fetish?

Probably too strong.

But your bamboo enthusiasm, in the car.

JAMES: Yeah.

She knows a...she knows a lot about you.

JAMES: Does she?

DOM: She's quite a strong fan!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) Is she?

Yeah, I'm just...it's a fair warning.

JAMES: OK, thank you.

Thank you.

VO: Easy, tigers!

DOM: My feeling is, I'd like to have a go at the poster downstairs.

Oh, definitely, definitely.

And so I think we should have one each.

JAMES: One each.

See what I mean?

And I do feel, with all your work you've done for the bamboo movement... DOM: ..we should...we should try and give it a bit more.

So shall we go with this?

VO: There isn't a ticket price, so one to perhaps add to the list.

VO: Two potential goodies for Dom and James.

How about Pauline?

PAULINE: Teapots, teapots, teapots.

PHIL: Teapots, teapots.

VO: Go on, go on, go on!

VO: What will this room serve up?

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) PHIL: What have you got?

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) Now, that.

PHIL: I actually quite like that, that's a proper teapot.

PAULINE: Jeepers, it is, isn't it?

Oh, watch the lid doesn't come off.

Do you like that?

Um, yeah, I mean, I'm not wild about it being brown, I've got to say.

It's salt glazed.

PAULINE: Salt glazed, oh, right.

PHIL: So when that's in the kiln being fired, basically you lob a handful of salt in and at the high temperature, it gives you that glaze.

PHIL: I mean, I would think that's probably early part of the 20th century.

I think it's a brilliantly made thing.

PAULINE: But if I was buying it, I honestly wouldn't pay more than 20 quid for it.

We need to find out how much it is.

And, you know, if you want to buy it, we'll buy it.

PHIL: And if you don't want to buy it, we won't.

VO: Time to find the man in charge, Steve.

PHIL: Steve, I can sense pain is on its way.

Oh, right!

PHIL: I mean, what we're going to offer you.

VO: Great start, Phil.

Hey, I like that.

PAULINE: It's a monster of a thing.

STEVE: Came out of a hotel in Blackpool.

PAULINE: Right!

What's your very, very, very best price?

I'll take 20 quid for it.

STEVE: And I'm treating you.

Do you know what... Don't think about it, it's cheap.

PAULINE: I'm going to say OK, and thank you, Steve.

And before you change your mind, I'm going to take out 20 smackeroonies.

There we are.

VO: Last of the big spenders, eh?

JAMES: I don't think it's made of sustainable materials.

It's not bamboo.

JAMES: It's not bamboo.

DOM: I like this, though.

This... JAMES: That's very nice, isn't it?

DOM: Well, it's alright.

I mean, it would work for someone.

In fact, hello.

I think I've found... PAULINE: Hello, my enemies!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) ..I've found a car that you can drive.

Oh, do you know, he's really funny, isn't he?

Have you met James?

DOM: James, this is Pauline, your biggest fan.

JAMES: Well, hello.

PAULINE: Now we meet, James Braxton.

I am your greatest fan!

But be not afraid, I come in peace.

OK. PAULINE: I'd love to stay and chew the cud, but I've got treasures to buy.

Go on, go on, go on.

PAULINE: And many... (LAUGHS) That's your catchphrase.

JAMES: Go on!

Oh...ugh!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: With £380 left, the open road beckons for Pauline and Phil.

VO: Back with Dom and James, and they've nabbed Steve.

DOM: So, Steve, can we talk turkey, talk money?

Yes, sure, yeah.

JAMES: We've got two items we're interested in, didn't we?

You, Dom, you love that propaganda.

JAMES: The little bill.

DOM: Yeah, "tittle tattle".

JAMES: In the frame.

STEVE: I know it, yeah.

I really like that.

That's an original, is it?

I like it.

Yeah.

What's your price on that, Steve?

How much?

STEVE: 15 quid.

DOM: You drive a hard bargain.

In fact, in fact, in fact, no bargain at all.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: But 15, 15.

I love it.

And I couldn't pass that bamboo hall stand.

STEVE: Right.

JAMES: Would 30 buy it?

No, it wouldn't.

Steve!

40.

Come on.

Um, 40 quid if you want it.

JAMES: Thank you.

If it has...if it has to be.

Yeah, that would be great, Steve.

40.

We're doing alright, aren't we?

Steve, you would've done very well running a stall in Marrakech, I'm telling you that right now.

DOM: There is no hard balling you.

I love it!

It's great!

I love it!

JAMES: There we are.

VO: A total of £55 on the propaganda poster and the bamboo hall stand.

VO: Nice going, fellas.

That leaves you with 345 smackers.

VO: Now, where are Pauline and Phil?

PHIL: So if your home was on fire or whatever... PAULINE: Yeah.

..and you could rush out with one thing, what would you rush out with?

Well, my mother is a quite a fine painter.

Really?

PAULINE: She did one painting of me first.

Yeah?

I sat with a doughnut for all of 10 minutes.

PHIL: A doughnut!

(LAUGHS) PAULINE: We call it Girl With Doughnut, and that is what I would save if there was a fire.

VO: Love the sound of that.

VO: Pauline and Phil are still in Morecambe, but have motored just a few miles away for a well-earned breather.

VO: Our duo are here to find out about a genius material that transformed Victorian interior design.

PHIL: How are you?

ANDY: I'm fine.

Welcome to Lincrusta.

VO: Production manager Andy Sarson will give the factory tour.

If you want to walk this way, we'll show you around what we do.

VO: Way back in 1860, local businessman Frederick Walton invented linoleum.

It was a global sensation.

17 years later, his ambition was to cover not just floors, but walls.

VO: Using the same technology, he devised a product that cheaply imitated expensive artisan plasterwork in the homes of the wealthy.

PAULINE: Smells lovely.

PHIL: Gorgeous, isn't it?

ANDY: Yeah, yeah.

So I suppose my first question has to be, who was Frederick Walton?

Well, Frederick Walton was an inventor, and what he realized was that linoleum became an instant success to the masses.

But then he suddenly realized that he could put a texture into linoleum.

PAULINE: Mm-hm.

And that's how Lincrusta was born.

VO: This invention replaced the painstaking artistry of plasterwork.

VO: It revolutionized interiors, from embossed wall coverings to ornate ceiling roses.

But it wasn't just the beauty and durability that appealed.

ANDY: He wanted also to enable people to have the texture and the grandeur for a reasonable price.

Mm-hm.

ANDY: And that was another thing, even though he was quite wealthy, even in his younger years, he saw that the average person wanted what a lot of the wealthier people had.

VO: Combining aesthetics with functionality was a vital key to success.

VO: By the late 19th century, Frederick had cracked the international market.

VO: It was an industry first, and people couldn't get enough.

ANDY: The Victorian era was said to be quite a dirty era, and what he wanted to do was to try and clean the houses up by having something that was scrubbable, that was washable, that was able to stand knocks and bangs, whereas, you know, other types of wallpapers wouldn't.

VO: The genius solution for mass production was the invention of mighty steel rollers, each engraved with a bespoke design.

PAULINE: I'm just mesmerized by how beautiful these are.

PAULINE: They're incredible.

They'll last forever, will they?

ANDY: They certainly do.

ANDY: Obviously, when the Second World War broke out, the original rollers were melted down for the war effort, for munitions.

ANDY: So once the war had finished, the first design that was produced in 1950 is the same roller today that is used.

So these are made to last.

ANDY: We've still only got 37, 38 designs.

And when you consider we're talking 70 years later, whereas Frederick Walton in the previous 70 years actually engraved and had over 1,500 designs.

Even today in the colleges, this material is still taught as part of an apprenticeship.

So it shows you how long-reaching this material is.

VO: And now, for a spot of DIY.

PAULINE: Ooh!

VO: Who will be the champ at matching up the Lincrusta?

PAULINE: Oh-ho-ho!

ANDY: (LAUGHS) PAULINE: My own bits!

PAULINE: Already, it's complicated!

VO: I think Pauline has got the knack.

Looks as though you're both enjoying this.

PHIL: That's not bad, is it?

That's not bad at all, actually.

PHIL: OK. Who's won?

ANDY: Well, I personally think that Pauline, being the arty one of the two, has actually pipped you at the post.

Do you want to have time to reconsider your verdict?

No, the jury has made its decision.

ANDY: I'm very sorry.

Ah, them's the breaks.

(MOUTHS) Thank you.

ANDY: That's quite alright.

Even if it's not true.

PAULINE: You'll always be a winner to me, Phil!

PHIL: Just shut it!

PAULINE: Yeah.

A champion, in fact.

PHIL: Shut it.

Yeah, right.

PAULINE: My hero!

PHIL: I wish I'd got that Dom Joly, he seems a nice bloke.

VO: Well done, Pauline, you were a whiz at that.

VO: Back with the boys in the sporty roadster.

JAMES: So you're of course famous for your catchword, "hello".

DOM: Yeah.

Do you have the phone?

DOM: The one thing I have kept onto is the big mobile, and it sits in my library in a big glass case, which says, "Do not break unless in case of dire career emergency."

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: So it's my pension.

VO: Dom and James have traveled east to Lancaster.

JAMES: Well done.

There we are.

DOM: There we are.

JAMES: You get the last drop out of this car, don't you?

DOM: Yeah, yeah.

And now we can't get out, as usual.

VO: Less jam roly-poly for you, Jimbo.

VO: It's like Starsky and Hutch.

JAMES: I think my...my... DOM: It's never elegant.

JAMES: ..my legs have got longer.

JAMES: Now I know what it feels like to be a sumo wrestler, getting out of a Triumph Spitfire.

VO: (LAUGHS) VO: GB Antiques Center is next on the shopping hit list.

VO: Blimey, that's like one of Dom's costumes.

DOM: James!

James!

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on!

JAMES: If we're supposed to win this thing, you can't fiddle around.

Sorry.

VO: Alright, Sergeant Major Braxton.

DOM: Sorry.

Cruel but fair.

DOM: Sorry!

VO: Dom and James have £345 weighing down their pockets.

Oh, goodness, I like that.

Nice and heavy.

Right.

Dom.

VO: Better call Dom.

(SHOUTS) Hello!

Hello!

VO: Oh, my ears.

(SHOUTS) Hello!

I can hear you!

It's rubbish!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) That wasn't bad, actually, James.

I presume you've found something?

I have.

Dom, come and have a look at this.

DOM: Oh, look at that.

JAMES: Dom, I like these.

These Chinese hardwood tables.

Yeah.

And I like them for two reasons.

I like the name of the wood, which is sometimes known as huanghuali.

Say that again.

JAMES: Huanghuali.

Huanghuali.

JAMES: This is sort of turn of the century, it would have been exported from China.

JAMES: It's very European in shape, but carries a lot of emblematic devices.

JAMES: Just along the frieze... DOM: Yeah.

JAMES: ..I can see a stylized bat.

DOM: Oh yes!

Now, the bat is a symbol of good fortune.

Well, it is for me.

I'm an ex goth.

JAMES: Are you?

DOM: Yeah.

I unfortunately didn't survive, cuz I got booted out.

I was a bit too cheerful to be a goth.

Really?

Is that the problem?

Just didn't follow the rules.

DOM: So, yeah.

JAMES: Yeah, yeah.

DOM: But I do like this.

It's well made, isn't it?

JAMES: It's well made.

DOM: Shall we do your heavy test?

JAMES: Yeah.

The weight test.

DOM: Ooh!

That's... JAMES: Is that good?

DOM: That's solid, don't you think?

Are you feeling it there?

DOM: Not really.

Not yet.

JAMES: On the lumbar.

No?

Yeah, but that's properly made.

How much?

JAMES: If we could get it below 150, I think there's room for a profit, and I might see that at 150 to 250 at auction.

DOM: I reckon I could get it for lower.

JAMES: Do you think?

DOM: Yeah.

VO: Let's get Alan to talk moolah.

DOM: Alan?

ALAN: Yeah?

We've got something here, can we have a look?

Why not?

Why not?

Oh, you've got good taste, Dom.

Thank you very much.

Actually, James picked this out, but I've been delegated to negotiate with it.

DOM: We do like it.

What are you looking for?

Well, normally that would be just over £300 somewhere.

DOM: (CLICKS TONGUE) ALAN: But, we have had it a bit.

£150.

DOM: Oof.

I was thinking more 110.

I can do 130.

DOM: Ooh.

Could we agree at 120?

ALAN: 125?

And then that's it, halfway.

Alright, I'll take 125.

Is that alright?

Right.

That's good.

DOM: Brilliant.

Happy with that.

VO: What a haggling pro, Dom!

£125 on the Victorian Chinese jardiniere stand.

VO: They will have that sent on, leaving £220 in the kitty.

(ENGINE REVS) JAMES: There's a nice sort of revving coming from you, Dom.

It's really, I've just got these massive boots, I've got absolutely no control.

You need little dancing slippers tomorrow.

DOM: Yeah.

VO: Maybe Dom could borrow yours, JB.

PHIL: Wasn't there a competition once to see how many people you could get in a Mini?

Well, that was a favorite of students, wasn't it?

You know, to see how many people could get in.

PHIL: Yeah, I think they had about, was it 17 people somebody got in a Mini?

They're surprisingly spacious!

They weren't my size, I have to say!

VO: It's been a rip-roaring day.

Nighty night.

VO: We're up and at 'em in glorious Lancashire.

PAULINE: How did you find the Braxton?

Physically, he's a very compelling man.

DOM: He's very strong.

He has big soft eyes one can get lost in.

It's true.

It's true.

Yeah.

He's everything I wanted and a little bit more, actually.

PAULINE: I am jealous.

DOM: I just felt bad.

DOM: I felt bad, I thought, "This should be Pauline," as he gazed at me lovingly.

VO: Ahh, love is in the air.

VO: Speaking of big, strong men... PHIL: This, for you and I, James, is, I would describe it as cozy.

It is quite cozy, isn't it?

PHIL: Cozy, very cozy.

JAMES: I think if we were to measure our shoulders, and then we measured the interior... We are wider than the car.

VO: Now you come to mention it... VO: What about your new buddies, though?

PHIL: How did you get on with Dom?

Very well.

Very well.

He's a clever bunny.

He's a bright boy, isn't he?

His love is travel writing.

PHIL: Pauline is one of life's enthusiasts.

JAMES: She is, isn't she?

Yeah, I mean, she's just naturally effervescent, funny, and keen.

VO: Back with Dom and Pauline, it's time to have a cheeky peek at their goodies.

Right.

Can I show you what I got.

Show me yours.

DOM: You can show me... PAULINE: I've got one in there as well.

DOM: Have you?

Oh!

PAULINE: Yay!

This is yours, is it?

It certainly is.

Well, who'd have thought it?

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) It's over 100 years old, and it was 20 quid.

DOM: You know you're not allowed to bid yourself.

PAULINE: What... DOM: (LAUGHS) VO: Yes, just the one purchase for Pauline and Phil... Teapots, teapots, teapots.

VO: ..leaving them with £380.

DOM: James!

VO: But Dom and James... JAMES: (SHOUTS) Hello!

VO: Blimey!

Spent £180 on the bamboo hall stand, the Victorian Chinese jardiniere stand, and the World War II propaganda poster.

PAULINE: I love this.

DOM: Do you?

PAULINE: I do.

I absolutely love this.

DOM: I genuinely am a bit upset that we're going to sell that, because I'd like it.

How much did you pay for that?

Well, this is what's annoying.

So how much do you think?

50 quid, maybe, or something?

DOM: Well that's what I would have thought... DOM: ..but he said 15 quid.

PAULINE: Ooh!

Then even then, I thought too much.

And Mr Braxton said, "No, fair price, let it go."

DOM: So 15 quid.

So we're game on, I think, I mean, my slight worry, you've just got the teapot, have you?

Yeah.

DOM: OK, you understand it's a competition?

We need some more stuff.

PAULINE: I'm...having seen this now, I'm thinking I'm going to raise the game.

I'm going to take it to you.

I mean, I'm not mucking about.

PAULINE: (CHUCKLES) DOM: I'm glad you like that.

DOM: Um, I don't want to be rude, but this is my shop, so I've got to crack on because obviously just one more purchase, really, will probably do me.

PAULINE: So I'm... DOM: I don't know.

DOM: I'm not running this, am I?

PAULINE: I'm on my own?

DOM: I'll see you later, yeah?

Good luck.

Thanks for nothing.

DOM: I'm still walking.

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) VO: While Pauline goes off to find Phil, we will stay with Dom in Haslingden, in the beautiful Rossendale Valley.

VO: Could divine inspiration take place in this former church?

VO: Holden Wood Antiques has over 30 dealers selling a multitude of delights in here.

VO: Dom has £220 left to splurge.

VO: Now, Jimbo should be lurking in here somewhere.

Gaw, this is lovely.

JAMES: And, you know, it's just the lovely thing, it's the sum of parts.

DOM: Morning.

JAMES: Morning.

Morning, Dom.

DOM: Oh, God, please, no!

James, I think you actually have a problem, (LAUGHS) I'll be honest with you!

Do you think we should, you know, if we go into bamboo, why don't we go long?

At least we'll have two bits.

This is what addicts say.

Put the bamboo down.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: Can we move on?

Genuinely, I...I just... JAMES: OK, I'll step away.

DOM: Step away.

JAMES: I'll step away.

DOM: Step away from the bamboo stand.

VO: Yes, Braxton's like a hungry panda.

Ha ha!

I know, Dom, just humor him.

(PLAYS TINKLING TUNE) VO: Bravo!

A man of many talents.

DOM: Oh, I do like this.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Stroke the oak.

James?

JAMES: Hello.

Have I mentioned that I have a... (SHOUTS) Hello!

Sorry.

Oh, God!

You've got to let that go!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: Have I mentioned I have a deep love of maps?

Yes, I think...I think you did.

Because...because of your travel, presumably.

Well, yeah, it comes with the travel writing, really.

And I am, I've always, always loved maps, and I've got globes and maps, and weird sort of political maps.

And I just love maps.

DOM: This one, I love, it's of Derbyshire, 1610.

I mean, if it's original, and it looks pretty... Well, from where I'm standing, it looks alright.

DOM: Well there's something that says... JAMES: Is there a cartographer?

Yes, but I can't read it, it's too small.

Have you got glasses?

OK, I've got the binos on.

Here you are.

DOM: If you have a little look.

There we are.

Ah, yes.

John Speed.

So a very famous cartographer.

VO: Taylor-turned-scholar John Speed is one of the best known English map makers, and presented his maps to Queen Elizabeth I in the late 16th century.

DOM: So what do you think?

I mean, £22, which I think is pretty good.

DOM: I actually really like the fact, I know for you it's not great, cuz it's not a bamboo frame.

JAMES: I know, that's something, it's a weakness of the thing.

It's not.

I think that's what makes it really nice.

I've seen a lot of these maps in slightly fancy frames.

JAMES: Yeah.

DOM: And for me, that's a Derbyshire map with a Derbyshire frame.

It's oak, it's solid.

I think if you lived in Derbyshire, you'd buy that.

VO: Yes.

Pity we're selling in Cheshire.

Good thing, though.

VO: And - hurrah!

- Pauline has made it to the Saxon town of Clitheroe in Lancashire's Ribble Valley.

VO: We're shopping at the Old Coach House Antiques & Interiors, and Pauline's spotted something.

VO: He's getting on.

Best go and tell him.

VO: It's jam packed in here.

VO: With £380 to spend... Those!

VO: ..what has she found?

Books?

PAULINE: No!

PHIL: What?

PAULINE: Those!

PHIL: These?

PAULINE: Not the pots.

PHIL: These?!

PAULINE: Yeah, the stands.

What do you think?

Do you know, I quite like those.

PAULINE: I didn't think I liked brown furniture, but this is... PHIL: But they're not really brown.

..not really furniture.

PHIL: They're kind of golden oak.

Are they, yeah?

PHIL: They're trying to be, perhaps not succeeding, at Gothic type arts and crafts stuff.

PAULINE: Yeah.

PHIL: I think they're quite fun.

Well, I can just imagine plants in beautiful pots, you know, tumbling down over.

Yeah.

Like they'd be a really useful thing in a house of any size.

PAULINE: I'm kind of...I'm heartened, cuz immediately I've seen something that I like.

PHIL: They're on the McLynn wish-list?

Yes, they're on the wish-list now.

Yeah, for sure.

PHIL: OK. VO: This pair of arts and crafts style torcheres are unpriced.

Let's leave Pauline to rummage.

VO: How goes it in Dom's world?

Well, that's going to be too pricey.

VO: Ooh!

Lemonade, anyone?

DOM: Aha.

I like this.

JAMES: Aha!

DOM: Aha!

I like this.

That's very nice.

Why do you like it?

Well, it actually is not me, this, but I really like it.

DOM: It's sort of, I love the green, it's clean, I can imagine, you know, being in the garden on a hot day and pouring out something nice.

JAMES: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

DOM: I like it.

It's got a very deco elegance about it, hasn't it?

DOM: Yeah, no, I really like it, and it's Doulton.

I know that.

DOM: The only thing I've noticed is that one of these has got, that's got a green rim, but the others don't.

JAMES: How funny.

DOM: Is that a problem?

But I didn't notice it at the beginning.

JAMES: No, no, no, how funny, because you know, you look at it, and I wouldn't have noticed.

But that doesn't bother me, actually, too much.

JAMES: No.

Are all the beakers sound?

DOM: How do I, just look in?

JAMES: Here you are, so, if you just take, sometimes the eyes can lie.

So what I tend to do... (RINGS BEAKER) ..is just ring them.

DOM: And you're listening for a sort of... (CLICKS BEAKER) JAMES: Yeah, I think that's alright.

Try another one.

(DULL CLICKS) Oh, that doesn't sound too good.

(DULL CLICK) I would check that one there.

For what?

A crack?

JAMES: Yeah.

Oh, there is a crack.

Oh, dear.

That's not good news.

I wouldn't have noticed that.

Oh, yes, I would, just on the inside, a little bit.

How much is it?

DOM: It is, phew, 125 quid.

JAMES: Yeah, a bit strong.

DOM: Quite steep.

Yeah.

That's steep, even if it was all good.

JAMES: Strictly, say, that beaker's different as well.

DOM: It's four and a half, isn't it?

JAMES: Four and a half.

Four and a half and a crack.

DOM: So, 10 quid?

Alright, alright, alright.

JAMES: Tenner each.

Yeah.

OK, yeah, 50 quid, sort of thing.

50 quid, isn't it?

Yeah.

I didn't think I'd be buying any sort of ceramics of any form.

JAMES: No, no.

But I love that.

VO: Perfect for tennis parties.

VO: Let's chat dosh with John.

John, can we discuss cash a little bit, the dirty business?

Yeah, sure.

DOM: We're quite interested in this.

JOHN: Mm-hm.

DOM: But there is, I mean, there's an ill-matching beaker, but there's also a bit of damage.

DOM: We're just wondering whether you could just reduce it a little bit to around 50?

JOHN: Um, say 60?

Maybe just a little bit back down to 55?

JOHN: (LAUGHS) DOM: 55?

VO: Nice moves, James!

JOHN: Er, OK.

So 55, very kind, for that.

And we've also found a map we like of Derbyshire, which is £22, which we think is a very fair price, don't we?

JAMES: Yeah, a fair price.

DOM: Are we happy with that?

JOHN: Phew!

Yeah, we're not going to take you for that.

JOHN: Excellent.

So that's 50, 60, 70, 77.

Are we happy with that?

JOHN: That's perfect.

DOM: Perfect.

Excellent.

JAMES: 77.

DOM: We're doing well.

VO: Dom is the best haggler in town.

The very pretty Royal Doulton lemonade set for 55, and the lovely John Speed map of Derbyshire for 22.

VO: Excellent work!

JAMES: I think a very successful morning, don't you?

DOM: I'm very happy with that.

JAMES: I'm very happy.

DOM: Ooh!

JAMES: I'm very, I'm... Oh, hello.

VO: Crumbs.

It's like an assault course getting in here.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) JAMES: Did the...did the earth move for you there?

VO: I think the next village felt the ripples!

Bye!

VO: Now, how about Pauline in Clitheroe?

(SHOUTS) Hello!

VO: Not another one!

VO: With £380, what else can she track down?

PAULINE: Phil?

PHIL: Mm-hm?

As mad as it may seem... PHIL: Oh, no, no, no!

You're in Serrell country now.

This...am I?

Well, you know what that would make?

Well, if it's Serrell country, then it's coffee table time!

PHIL: It's a coffee table!

Absolutely right.

Some might call it a drum, but in fact... PHIL: No, no, no.

It's a coffee table.

PAULINE: Do you know, it's...

I'm surprising myself here now.

PHIL: So you put a piece of plate glass on the top.

PAULINE: Yeah.

PHIL: And then possibly either three legs on it to raise it up... PAULINE: Yeah.

PHIL: ..or leave it at that height.

I mean, I think it's really cool.

Or I could knit myself a little... (TAPS DRUM) PHIL: No, no, no.

..and just parade up and down the street.

PHIL: No, it's a Serrell coffee table!

The one thing I think about it is it's probably 20th century.

PHIL: The good ones are 19th century.

The really good ones are regimental ones.

I never thought I'd be standing here saying it has a look, doesn't it?

You know?

PHIL: You're on the money, aren't you?

VO: This is a regimental-style drum of the Highlanders, an infantry battalion of the Royal Regiment of Scotland.

Their motto, Cuidich 'n Righ, means help the king.

VO: It's priced at £30.

What's next?

PAULINE: Yeah.

PHIL: Do you like those?

PAULINE: Do you know, I do like them, but it seems to me that something like this would be used simply as a design piece these days.

PHIL: Yeah.

PAULINE: And I'm looking at them and I think I love the color of this.

Is this brass or... PHIL: I would think it's brass, might be bronze.

But I think it's, they're not just scales for me.

PAULINE: Yeah?

PHIL: Right, so, on the far side, it's got De Grave & Co of London?

PAULINE: Uh-huh.

PHIL: Right, so they're the makers.

PHIL: On the top, it's got, "Capacity, 56lb," which is half a hundredweight.

PAULINE: Mm-hm.

PHIL: And then it's got, "Borough of Clitheroe."

VO: The prestigious De Grave & Co first began in the 18th century and made a name for themselves making weights and balances.

PHIL: I think they belonged to Clitheroe Borough Council and they would have been used as their test weight to calibrate other scales, other weights and things like that.

Oh, I see.

So, they wouldn't be, like, you wouldn't weigh your wool or anything on them?

No, I don't think so.

I don't think so.

VO: Decision time, Pauline.

PAULINE: Here's what I'm thinking, you have actually done something.

# You do something to me!

# And I think I might like to put in an offer on all three lots, then.

VO: Nerves bristling, let's face the music with Michael, the man in charge.

Erm, right!

Michael!

(LAUGHS) MICHAEL: (CHUCKLES) PAULINE: Erm, so, cut to the chase.

It's this...I...I like the, are they oak stands?

MICHAEL: The church oak stands?

PAULINE: Oh, are they church ones?

MICHAEL: Yes.

PAULINE: OK. And the second lot that Pauline liked was the drum, which I've surprised myself about.

PAULINE: And then the big scales... MICHAEL: Yes.

The Clitheroe.

PAULINE: ..that are hanging up.

Yes.

PAULINE: The Clitheroe scales.

Where could I be for all three items?

MICHAEL: My lowest would be 220.

PAULINE: Thank you, yes.

MICHAEL: Are we happy?

PAULINE: Yeah, I'm... MICHAEL: Phil?

I'm happy with that.

I don't know why I'm looking at you.

It's nothing to do with you.

You can walk on, Mr Serrell.

You've done enough.

I'd love that, Michael, I would really appreciate that.

Yes?

That's... 220.

Great.

MICHAEL: ..not a problem at all.

VO: That mega buy breaks down to £95 for the arts and crafts style torchere, £30 for the regimental-style drum, and 95 for the De Grave & Co scales.

VO: Dom and James have shopped for Blighty, so time for a diversion to the Lancashire town of Rawtenstall.

JAMES: We're here!

VO: Feeling the need to wet their whistle, they're venturing in here.

JAMES: Hello!

ASH: Hello!

JAMES: James.

ASH: Hi, Ash.

JAMES: Good, good to meet you.

ASH: Come in.

DOM: Hello.

Dom.

ASH: Hello.

VO: Revving up the gents' taste buds is owner of this fine establishment, Ashley Morley.

JAMES: So this is a bar, is it?

ASH: It is.

Welcome to Mr Fitzpatrick's, Britain's last original temperance bar.

DOM: Temperance bar?

ASH: Yeah.

JAMES: You said we were going to a pub?

DOM: Well, I thought it was a pub.

Pint's out of the question, then?

ASH: It is, unfortunately, but we have many flavors that are amazing that I can do... DOM: Right.

ASH: ..various things with, and I'm sure we can find one that you'll love.

JAMES: We'll give it a go.

DOM: We'll give it a go.

ASH: Why not?

We're open-right minded, and there's a pub nearby.

ASH: Yeah!

(LAUGHS) JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: This bar was opened in 1899 by a Dublin family of herbalists.

VO: It stands proud as a monument to the forgotten campaign against alcohol.

DOM: What would make you open a temperance bar?

ASH: Basically, what it was, in the 1800s, alcohol was known as the demonic drink.

It was very cheap, everybody was drinking it, from children, women, men, gentlemen, everybody, and it was causing a lot of problems from work, to marriages, everything seemed to be a big problem, so it was a case of, let, somebody stepped in and gone, "Come on, we're doing this, we need to start a sober community."

And give them an alternative place to go, I suppose.

Yeah, absolutely.

cuz everything was about drink.

VO: Back in the 18th century, drunkenness was a way of life, but with the onset of industrialization in towns and cities, society needed an intervention.

VO: A rescue mission formed in 1835, the Temperance movement would become a major force for social reform in Victorian Britain.

VO: Lancashire philanthropist Joseph Livesey was a social reformer and local politician and one of the first to campaign for the joys of abstinence.

ASH: There was a gentleman from Preston, he decided to go, you know, "Come on, guys, we need to be opening somewhere that can be a social scene without alcohol."

ASH: And it became really like very much a popular thing.

They were all over Britain, in the peak of them, Fitzpatrick's had 40 of them in Lancashire alone.

VO: Livesey and his fellow Temperance chums began a trend for being teetotal.

VO: By 1900, the health and financial benefits attracted more than six million people who had taken the pledge to give booze the boot.

ASH: When I first took over, there was a gentleman who came in, and 50 years to the day he came in to celebrate with a sarsaparilla, giving up.

He actually gave it up in here.

DOM: Oh, really?

ASH: He sat in the back corner over there and he said, "50 years today that I've given up alcohol."

DOM: 50?

Five zero?

ASH: Yeah.

DOM: Well, he's done it, hasn't he?

DOM: Kicked it.

ASH: Amazing.

I mean, you say one day at a time, but I mean, he's cracked it.

Yeah, he wanted to celebrate with a sarsaparilla.

I was like amazing, I was like "That's fantastic."

DOM: It's never too late, James.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: After all this chat, the boys must be parched.

DOM: So obviously not serving alcohol.

What kind of drinks were served?

ASH: Well, it's always been about the cordials.

So Julia Fitzpatrick's in the family, she came with her recipes from Dublin, where they came from, and we still make various ones to the recipe now.

VO: The botanical drinks could even offer health benefits for the reformed beer glugger.

ASH: The idea being of it is they've always done it with a medicinal purpose in mind.

That's the belief of it.

ASH: So, for instance, sarsaparilla being very good for the blood, um, blood tonic.

Because it's a tonic, it's a pick-you-up.

Because it's made with raspberries, nettles and rosehip, they say that it's very good for your immune system and digestive system, so it's always been around that factor, that's what the belief was.

All this chat is making me a little thirsty.

Can we try some?

ASH: Yeah, course you can.

DOM: Do you have some you prepared earlier for us?

ASH: I have.

DOM: Well done.

ASH: I'll get some ready for you.

Look at that.

ASH: We'll bring you some traditional flavors, just so we can get that taste.

ASH: They're just nice because it's not your generic thing that you can go and buy in a supermarket.

ASH: It's something a little bit different.

Wow, those look great.

So what order do we do these in?

ASH: OK, so the idea being is that we're going to go from light to dark, because of your taste buds.

ASH: So the first one, the clear one, that is good, old cream soda.

Oh, I love cream soda.

Can't beat a good cream soda.

DOM: That's vanilla, isn't it?

Yes.

Vanilla bean, that's what it's made with.

Have a try.

VO: Each cordial has a splash of sparkling water.

Smack of vanilla.

Mm.

That's really nice.

JAMES: That is ice cream, isn't it?

DOM: It is ice cream.

ASH: Thank you, yeah, yeah.

It tastes delicious on ice cream, actually.

On top.

DOM: Yeah, I bet it would.

On a float.

VO: Yummy!

DOM: So this is blood tonic?

ASH: That's the one.

This is our best seller by far in the bar.

ASH: It's made with raspberries, nettles and rosehip.

It's got a hint of bubble-gum.

That's what people say, yeah, yeah.

I can feel my blood thinning.

DOM: What have we got here?

This one is sarsaparilla.

This is the Marmite of our cordials.

DOM: Oh, really?

ASH: In respect of you're either going to love it or hate it.

Sarsaparilla.

Yes, made with sarsaparilla root.

Believed to be very good for the blood.

VO: Let's see what Fussy Pants thinks.

Yeah, that is more medicine...medicinal.

There is a hint of TCP about it.

ASH: Yeah, TCP or Germolene, people give me.

What I like is you don't know what you're going to get.

ASH: Yeah, yeah exactly.

DOM: I like that.

I'm feeling good already.

DOM: Yeah.

JAMES: Coursing... ASH: Good.

JAMES: ..it's coursing.

VO: You'll be a new man, James.

VO: By the early 20th century, rock and roll was everywhere, and temperance bars fell out of favor.

VO: But here in Lancashire, Mr Fitzpatrick's, thanks to Ashley and her family, remains the last bastion of a movement that helped the nation sober up.

VO: Talking of rock and rollers, what's going on in the Mini?

PHIL: It'd just be really nice for our last shop, just to find something that we can perhaps go out in a blaze of glory?

Yeah, I'd love that.

PHIL: Yeah, it would be cool, wouldn't it?

What about that Dom Joly and Braxton?

Ach, they're dead in the water.

VO: Crumbs!

VO: This determined pair have zipped over to the Lancashire town of Accrington.

VO: Their final shopping spree is taking place in here.

PHIL: There we go.

Right!

PHIL: This is it.

VO: Warner St Antiques & Collectables.

VO: This family-run business also includes an auction house, so lots of fresh turnover of stock.

VO: With four items in the bag, they have a grand total of £160 left.

PAULINE: Um, Phil, I saw a little group of four candlesticks here.

Now, my house is coming down with them... PHIL: Yeah.

PAULINE: ..I hardly ever use.

Some really nice ones.

PAULINE: But the fact that there are four of these is kind of intriguing.

PAULINE: Now, they're not silver, or at least there's no stamp mark, but they're Danish.

So, you know... That's kind of a good thing.

Yeah.

Like they have a look, don't they?

Kind of a designery shape, and the fact that there's a group of them.

PHIL: Yeah.

Well, you would have walked past those probably 20 years ago, and I don't think there's any great age to them.

They're certainly in the last 50 years, and they look like they're silver-plated from here.

But they have...they're a design statement, you know?

Yeah.

PHIL: And they have, you're right, they absolutely have a look.

PHIL: But I just think if you've got a dinner party, they'd look...this is the artistic side of me!

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) PHIL: They'd look quite nice with just a flower bud sitting in that well on a table for a dinner party.

PAULINE: Yeah.

PHIL: You see?

Who knew that you loved such prettiness, in fact, and had that soft side to you?

VO: I'm in shock.

VO: These little beauties carry the Cohr Atla hallmark, a symbol for top-quality Danish silver-plate.

VO: But they don't have a price tag.

PHIL: They're going to make probably between £20 and £40.

They're not going to make any more than that.

Yeah.

PHIL: You kind of need to find out what the best price you can buy them for.

Shall we ask our friendly man?

Yeah, let's find out.

PHIL: Go on, then.

VO: Owner George is on standby.

PAULINE: I like these little candlesticks, and I'm just wondering, because there's no price on them, what would be your best figure?

£20.

Is that OK?

Do you know, yes, I'd be delighted with that.

PAULINE: Thank you very much.

No problem.

I'm going to pay and leave.

Cut and run, cut and run, cut and run.

PAULINE: Yeah.

There's 20 crispy pounds.

Thanks so much.

I really appreciate it.

GEORGE: You're welcome.

Enjoy.

PHIL: Cheers, now.

Thanks.

Bye.

VO: Thank you very much.

VO: What a bargain.

Well done, Pauline.

VO: And that's it, the shopping is now complete.

VO: Let's hit the road.

PAULINE: I'm really pleased with what we've got, and I feel that I've learned a little.

You've possibly learned what not to buy!

JAMES: I think we've got some strong objects.

Oh, I'm very confident with it.

Do you know, I've never been to an auction, though.

JAMES: Have you never?

DOM: No, never.

So I'm really looking forward to it.

Oh, you'll love it.

VO: Indeed you will!

VO: Time for some shuteye.

VO: Pinch yourselves, auction viewing day is here in Worcestershire, and on their way are two snazzy showbizzers.

DOM: So how are you feeling about today?

I presume you're pretty nervous?

I actually got something that could class as brown furniture, and that's not my bag at all.

It sounds to me like you're just a bit nervous you've got terrible taste.

PAULINE: (LAUGHS) VO: This is the rendezvous point, Avoncroft Museum, a rescue center for historical buildings.

VO: Look lively!

Phil and Jimbo are like coiled springs.

PHIL: Lord above!

JAMES: Look at them.

(LAUGHS) Are they... PHIL: Ah, just in time!

You're late!

DOM: Really?

PAULINE: Surprise!

PHIL: Auction starts.

JAMES: Auction's starting, come on.

PHIL: Come on, Jimbo.

PAULINE: Tell them to stop!

Oh!

PAULINE: Wait for me, I'm the winner!

DOM: (LAUGHS) VO: Crumbs!

Look at them go!

Ha!

VO: After a gallop around Lancashire, the gang have gathered in Bromsgrove in Worcestershire, while their goodies have moved south to Runcorn, home to The Auction Center.

VO: It's open to online and commission bids across the globe.

VO: Pauline spent £260 on her five lovely lots.

VO: Let's see what's impressing auctioneer Michael Bain.

MICHAEL: Cohr Atla candlestick holders.

They're a good Danish brand, probably from about the 1950s.

MICHAEL: We've got a guide 20 to 40, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they do better than that.

VO: Dom spent just a few pounds less.

257 for his five lots.

VO: What's your fave, Michael?

MICHAEL: This is a very interesting World War II poster.

World War II collectables always do well here.

MICHAEL: Guide price, 20 to 40.

VO: Back to beautiful Bromsgrove.

DOM: Well, we ready?

We are very ready.

Let me tell you, we are very ready.

Well... We're feeling ever ready!

PAULINE: Yes, ach!

DOM: Are you?

I can hear even the sheep.

Can you hear them in the background?

They're bidding.

DOM: They're applaud...I think they're applauding.

JAMES & PHIL: (LAUGH) Bidding our lots.

It's a baaa-rgain.

DOM & JAMES: (LAUGH) DOM: Oh, very good!

VO: Right, Pauline's regimental style drum is first to blast the bidders.

DOM: I think you're going to make a profit from this.

This annoys me.

Well, it's lovely.

It really is a lovely, decorative thing.

DOM: I wouldn't go that far.

Even if you don't want to make noise and disturb the neighbors.

PHIL: It should make a profit.

£50 for this.

£50 who wants it?

PAULINE: Oh.

Come on.

DOM: No.

Fiver.

PAULINE: Surely!

MICHAEL: £30 for it.

Surely 30!

20 bid.

22 is next.

Now we're off.

Yes!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: Well done.

25 now, on the net, 25.

PAULINE: Beautiful condition.

DOM: Let the drums sound out.

They're losing!

MICHAEL: 25.

Are we all done at 25?

The hammer goes down.

(GAVEL) VO: It didn't drum up a frenzy, but it's early days.

DOM: Oh, dear.

Drum roll.

JAMES: Drum roll.

(LAUGHS) PAULINE: Oh, dear.

VO: Dom's next with the art deco Royal Doulton lemonade set.

PAULINE: What kind of age are we talking there?

Um, it's difficult to tell, Pauline.

Help!

Well it's art deco, 1920s.

Yeah I'd say 1922, I felt.

MICHAEL: Start me at 40.

DOM: What?

MICHAEL: £40 for this?

£40.

30, then.

DOM: What?

MICHAEL: £30.

I've got 20.

22 is next.

DOM: What?!

PAULINE: Ooh, that's quite low.

MICHAEL: With me at 24.

I thought it went up in an auction!

22 on the net.

25 is next.

Here we go.

Someone's on the net.

China are in.

Finish now at £22, then.

Is that it?

DOM: What?!

MICHAEL: Are we all done?

I don't think China want china.

MICHAEL: At 22, then, all done at 22.

(GAVEL) VO: Oh, what a shame.

VO: I like that.

Plenty more to go, Dom.

What was that about?

Stick around.

Stick around.

Lucky we didn't pay 150 quid, isn't it?

JAMES: Yeah, I know!

Ha!

VO: Pauline's Cohr Atla candlesticks are next to tempt the world.

DOM: Does Runcorn have electricity?

Cuz, if not, they'll need candles, won't they?

That's what our thinking was!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) MICHAEL: I've got 20.

22 is next.

£20 now.

22 is 22.

PAULINE: He's got 22, come on!

MICHAEL: 28 is next.

Come on!

28 is next.

25 now, the bid on commission.

PAULINE: 25?!

MICHAEL: 28 on the net.

Commissions are out.

Now 30, £30 now.

£35?

PAULINE: (SHOUTS) Come on!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) PHIL: I'm actually flabbergasted.

You're flabbergasted?

PHIL: Yeah.

DOM: I'm just gasted.

PAULINE: Oh, I'm thrilled.

MICHAEL: Selling at 35, then.

All done at 35.

(GAVEL) VO: That's more like it.

VO: Pauline takes the lead.

PAULINE: I think you know, that they really benefited from the fact that there were four of them.

They were made for dolls, very small dolls.

VO: Your turn, Dom, with your beloved John Speed map.

DOM: I've rather cleverly chosen a 17th century map of Derbyshire to be sold in Cheshire.

PHIL: It's close, though, isn't it?

Start me at 30 for this one.

Oh!

MICHAEL: £30, who wants it?

£30 for this.

£30.

Give me 20, then.

Not again.

MICHAEL: £20 for this.

£20 for this.

£20.

A bit of a theme here.

£20, give me a tenner, then.

DOM: (SHOUTS) What?!

JAMES: Oh.

PAULINE: Bid something.

MICHAEL: Anybody want this at all?

Anybody want this at all?!

MICHAEL: Anybody want this for 10?

10 I've got.

12 is next.

12, here we go.

Here we go.

We're off.

MICHAEL: £10 now.

All done at £10.

Here we go.

MICHAEL: £10 it is.

(GAVEL) VO: Ouch, is all I'm going to say.

PAULINE: You love maps, don't you?

Like, you would have bought that if you were at that auction?

I did buy it.

PHIL: Oh, yeah, yeah.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) VO: Pauline's teapot for giants is next.

DOM: You know what's going to happen here, don't you?

I'm going to be shouting at it!

This is gonna go for £800 or something.

No damage whatsoever there.

PAULINE: It is perfect.

DOM: Argh, argh!

JAMES: Oh, look at that.

DOM: What?

£30, who wants it?

£30, one of you.

He's a fan!

20 bid, thank you.

20 on the internet.

PAULINE: Come on!

22!

22, come on, go on!

25 bid on commission.

PAULINE: Yes!

DOM: Oh, this is ridiculous.

PAULINE: It is worth it.

It's pristine.

I've been stitched up here.

There isn't a mark on it.

JAMES: No, you haven't.

Don't worry.

At the moment it's £30 being sold to the commission bidder.

PHIL: Ha-ha!

PAULINE: Lovely.

Are we all done at £30, then?

I sell at 30.

(GAVEL) VO: 2-0 to Pauline!

VO: Mrs Doyle would be proud.

PAULINE: Oh, I am happy with that.

Listen, you can all laugh, yeah?

But please, halt everything.

JAMES: Yeah.

DOM: The bamboo expert is in town, and we've got probably the greatest bamboo hall stand I've ever seen.

VO: Braxton's 19th century bamboo hall stand next.

DOM: Can I just say now, I've been absolutely done, but now the expert steps in.

DOM: So let's see what happens.

Right, what should we say for this then?

Start me at 100.

DOM: Oh!

Sorry.

MICHAEL: £100 for this.

£100 on of you, £100, someone?

PAULINE: Ooh!

MICHAEL: Start me at 60, then.

DOM: Oh, come on!

JAMES: Oh, come on.

40, then.

DOM: What?!

JAMES: Ooh!

MICHAEL: 45 is next.

55 now, and 60.

£60 now.

JAMES: 60!

DOM: Oh, here we go!

PAULINE: So does not deserve this.

DOM: I knew bamboo was the answer!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) I told you, just trust me with bamboo.

£70 now.

75.

80 is next.

Oh, the power of the bamboo!

PAULINE: James Braxton... JAMES: It's sustainable!

It's sustainable.

(LAUGHS) MICHAEL: Are we all done at 75, then?

The hammer goes down.

(GAVEL) VO: Now we're talking!

VO: You're back in the game, Dom.

PAULINE: I think that you have actually single-handedly made bamboo chi-chi... JAMES: Yeah, I have.

..in the UK.

DOM & JAMES: (LAUGH) VO: Who knew, eh?

VO: It's the pair of arts and crafts style torchere next.

DOM: I could see these in your house, Pauline.

Not mine.

Is he a friend of yours?

No?

It's... (MOUTHS) No.

PHIL: Did you bring him along?

No.

Start with 100.

£100 for these.

£100.

Give me 80, then.

DOM: Oh, he doesn't hang about, does he?

JAMES: No.

MICHAEL: £80 for these.

40 then.

(SHOUTS) 40!

You are kidding me!

DOM: This is doing well.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) PAULINE: Oh, I'm raging!

DOM: You know what, Pauline?

I have to admit it, you've got an eye!

JAMES: (LAUGHS) MICHAEL: 20, then.

PAULINE: 20?!

DOM: 20 each, or 20 for... PHIL: For the two.

DOM: Oh, nice!

MICHAEL: 20 bid, 22 is next.

PAULINE: 20 bid.

Oh, my word, it's too far to go.

This is...this is a massacre.

PAULINE: This is a disaster!

£20 now.

22 is next.

Are we all done at 22?

DOM: Oh, I can't look.

£25, I sell at 25, then.

(GAVEL) VO: It was all going so well, Pauline.

DOM: What you have to learn about this game, if I may say so, Pauline, is it's a long game.

DOM: Yeah?

That's the way I've always looked at it.

You don't...

Some people get very disappointed at early disappointment.

Not me, not me.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) No, not me!

VO: He's a scamp!

VO: Now it's Dom's favorite, the World War II propaganda poster.

DOM: This is my big hope.

JAMES: Yeah, I think... Just because this is about my taste.

That worries me.

It's a good thing, I think.

I love it.

What shall we say for this?

Start me at 40.

What?

MICHAEL: £40 for this.

It could be 30, then.

DOM: Oh God, here we go.

MICHAEL: £30 for this, £30 for this.

We've got a long way to go.

He's got 20.

Well, there you go.

We're in profit.

PAULINE: Yes.

22, 22 now.

Come on.

JAMES: Let's get a rhythm.

DOM: Come on.

JAMES: Come on.

Commissions are out.

The net is finished at £22.

JAMES: Oh.

MICHAEL: All done at 22.

The hammer is down.

(GAVEL) VO: What a bargain!

DOM: I told my wife £400.

Nothing less.

Oh, that's so annoying.

VO: The propaganda fans must be on their hols.

VO: Come on, Pauline, time for your final lot - The De Grave & Co scales.

DOM: I think these will absolutely... JAMES: I think they'll do well.

Yeah, they'll do really well.

I think you should get 30, 40 quid for this.

JAMES & PHIL: (LAUGH) MICHAEL: Start with 40.

40?

What did you buy it for?

PHIL: Sh!

PAULINE: £95.

Give me 30, then.

DOM: Oh, he's down again.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) He's quick down, isn't he?

22 now.

25 is next.

He cannot get past 22, can he?

I feel the scales are weighed against you in this.

25 is next.

£22 it is.

DOM: 22.

He loves 22.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) MICHAEL: I sell at 22, all done.

(GAVEL) VO: There's a running theme here.

VO: Bad luck, Pauline.

DOM: 22?

JAMES: (LAUGHS) DOM: What did you, sorry, I can't remember what you bought it for?

I found one online that made 240 quid.

Right.

And it's not that one.

Unfortunately, that gentleman didn't need another.

VO: It all comes down to Dom's final offering, the Victorian Chinese jardiniere stand.

PHIL: This lot coming up now, I think that's a really good lot.

Oh, are you kidding me?

It's one of the ugliest things I've ever seen.

PHIL: It's gonna make... DOM: No, no, no.

PAULINE: Which is just terrible.

You have no basic understanding of Chinese furniture, I'm afraid.

If you have a good day, it's 300 quid.

We're going to start the bidding off at 80.

MICHAEL: I've got 80 with me.

PAULINE: Ugh!

MICHAEL: 80 with me.

85 is next.

80 with me.

Back of the net.

90 on commission.

95.

I've got 100.

DOM: Oh!

MICHAEL: 100 with me.

DOM: Come on!

MICHAEL: 100 with me.

100 with me, 110 on the net.

DOM: 10 on the net.

JAMES: 110.

That's China coming in!

120 on the phone.

120 on the phone.

JAMES: On the phone!

DOM: On the phone!

JAMES: On the phone!

On the phone!

(SHOUTS) Hello!

140 now on the net.

DOM: 140!

140!

Oh, you're in profit!

DOM: This is China!

Could you take a grand?!

140 on the net.

On the net at 140.

DOM: I love the net.

Do you know what the net is, Pauline?

MICHAEL: 150 on the net.

150 on the net.

DOM: Right, lunch is on us.

JAMES: (LAUGHS) MICHAEL: All done at 150?

The hammer is down.

(GAVEL) VO: A big-ticket item with a tickle of profit.

PAULINE: There is no point in doing the sums.

PAULINE: There's no need.

DOM: But do you know what...

I do not want that humiliation.

Pauline, you can't just wander into this game without an expert, yeah?

You need an expert by your side.

Why didn't I say that Braxton was my favorite?

Why?

Why?

VO: It was a well-fought battle, but let's take a look at the numbers.

VO: Pauline and Phil began with £400.

After all auction costs, they've made a loss of £147.66, ending with £252.34.

(GAVEL) VO: Dom and James also started with £400 and made a loss of £28.22.

VO: They have ended with £371.78, making them the outright winners!

DOM: So I've actually got numbers of both Phil and James, they gave them to me, which is nice.

I've got Phil's number, but not Mr James Braxton.

It's probably for the best, eh?

VO: Toodle-pip, you lovely lot!

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